Parents and Students Keeping Current Together

was the setting Monday for the third annual Family University program, which featured a variety of speakers and workshops geared to parents and their middle to high school-aged children.

Each workshop focused on a particular topic concerning issues that affect them and how parents and their children can best navigate the often-choppy waters that accompany high school.

New Rochelle FOCUS (Families Organized to Curb the Use of Substances) and the Safe Schools/Healthy Students Initiative sponsored this event. The programs were also offered in Spanish.

“We started Family University in New Rochelle because we knew of one in another Westchester community and felt it would be an effective way for parents and their kids to discuss issues,” said Lisa Dorman, co-president of New Rochelle High School’s PTSA and a co-chair of the event.

“We focus on issues important to students in our two middle schools, the high school and the alternative high school here,” she said. “Mike Kenny, our district coordinator, Pina Bloom and Rachel Gabriel, who are student assistant counselors here at the high school, all were integral in getting this program started at our school.”

New Rochelle High School’s Students Against Driving Drunk chapter also played an active role in presenting this event. “A lot of kids who belong to SADD gave input into focus groups that we used in the beginning of Family University to present topics,” said the high school’s SADD President Arianna Martignetti, a senior. One of the keynote speakers for students at this event was Bobby Petrocelli, whose wife was killed by a drunk driver in 1984.

Some of the workshops were geared to students, others to parents. One student-centered workshop concerned the topic of “Wacky Stress.” Mary Gocke, a registered dietitian, led this talk. It addressed how students can assess their stress levels and manage stress.

“Stress is unavoidable,” Gocke said. “It’s the way you react to it that makes a difference.” She said SAT pressures, grades and other factors can precipitate stress for students in high school.

Gocke emphasized to students the importance of eating proteins as opposed to junk food to properly feed the brain so as not to “crash” during the school day from improper nutrition.

One of the many workshops geared to parents was “Strategies for Social and Emotional Success,” led by training consultant Michael Nerney, who specializes in substance abuse prevention and education.

He took a serious subject—the emerging adult brain of adolescents with its attendant trials and tribulations—and presented it in a witty and informative manner that the parents could relate to. Nerney stressed the importance of parents listening to their children and rewarding good behavior.

One parent who was enthusiastic about attending Family University was Amy Bach, mom to high school junior Alex Kaufman.

“I really like this whole idea,” Bach said, “as parents can show support for their kids this way and provide positive reinforcement. Also, I think it’s important to show interest in activities your child is involved with.

“I think that, for Alex, this is great as she develops her leadership skills and can interact with adults and be comfortable with it,” she said.

Kaufman was equally positive about the evening.

“It’s great to learn what the speakers have to say, and how it’s important,” she said. “Also, since everyone breaks for dinner in the cafeteria, it brings together families who may not always eat together.”

Family togetherness in the adolescent years, or lack of it in some cases, was a subject that keynote speaker Anthony E. Wolf, Ph.D, touched on for parents gathered in the audience.

Wolf, a practicing child psychologist, said, “Parenting is dramatically different than it was years ago. Teens need to feel connected to their families, despite the way they may act sometimes.”

The author of the best-selling book Get out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager, Wolf gave humorous and witty scenarios concerning adolescent girls and boys, and ways parents can handle certain potentially precarious situations.

“Stand firm in your decisions and disengage if your teenager won’t let the subject go,” he offered as an example.

That said, Wolf did say that instead of being rigid in defining “right and wrong,” it would be more helpful to parents if they made decisions in a way that they are comfortable with.

The evening offered creative solutions to approaching often tricky subjects between parents and their children.