.

The Voice of New Rochelle: Requiem for a Morning Man

The author feels that he has been artistically shortchanging his readers by not sharing his more personal thoughts about his work. He warns that these musings are about the way he feels rather than how he might act upon them.

I was dreaming, in that peaceful twilight place between sleep and wakefulness, that I was gently leaning to my right to get more comfortable. Suddenly, my bliss was mildly, if annoyingly, interrupted by a thump I believed to be my latest book falling off the edge of the bed.

Why, I wondered, did the bed shake so from a book hitting the floor?

Suddenly, my eyes opened to the terrifying sight of a red brick wall maybe three yards in front of me. My heart raced like a fist pounding on my chest, my nostrils flared, taking in more air, and a strange taste took over the inside of my mouth as the wall came closer. 

The thump I dreamed as a falling book was actually a shallow curb. I had fallen asleep making a left turn at a busy intersection. Not a moment too soon was I able to cut the wheel sharply to the left avoiding contact.

It was an unconscious act, courtesy of my reflexes. The boxy PT Cruiser leaned hard to the right nearly rolling into the wall before I regained control. 

Like most people in denial, I did not stop to take stock of what had happened or why. I Just kept driving knowing I had beaten the odds one more time. 

This incident occurred five days ago, but it got me to thinking.

This was not the first time I had fallen asleep at the wheel. During my four years doing the morning show on WVOX, I have nodded at the wheel at least 30 times, probably more. 

On two occasions I hallucinated that the cars were other things and that the clouds, suffice it to say, were not clouds. On still another, I did not know how I got where I arrived at when I actually became aware of where I was. 

Feel free to read that sentence again. It scares me too.

Doing a morning drive radio show or, better yet, loving a morning radio show is like being married to a faithful, but insufferably demanding and unforgiving woman. 

She wants what she wants every day. She wants you home on time, prepared to know all there is to know about the world around her, and she expects you to write her love letters—I call them the news—each and every day with flawless detail and journalistic integrity and to be done with it before you wake her up by pressing the red button at 6:05.

She cares not what you did last night or whether you feel well. After you wake her, she demands that you entertain her guests and her other visitors listening at home. 

She wants total focus on her for three hours, and when it’s done she expects many more hours of foreplay, including inviting more company for future get-togethers, most especially tomorrow’s, and gathering the latest gossip from around the county.

“Work those phones,” she says, ”stop by city hall, I want to know everything that is going on.”

The problem is that this love goes only one way. She knows I am hopelessly smitten and obsessed. She knows that it—she—has replaced most other things in my life. What she doesn’t know is she may be killing me.

That wall came hurtling toward me as the result of getting up at 3:30 a.m. every day and living the job. I have only recently broken a 15-can-a-week Red Bull habit, to go along with about 14 cups of coffee. 

My digestive system is a disaster from eating then going to sleep. You go ahead and try to keep a relationship or a marriage going when you get home and just want to read and sleep.

Actually, I do try, and what it does is bring the wall still closer and the stomach miseries to a full boil. I no longer get enough exercise and have friends and family I have not seen in years. 

And so, now, I do worry. I am afraid.

There are days that I think of the Roy Scheider character in All That Jazz who burns out and dies of a bad heart at the end from the lifestyle he lives, and Tim Russert, of Meet The Press, who simply dropped dead a couple of years ago in his newsroom.

Michael Jackson, I am sure, thought that one more day bucking the odds with the anesthetic he called “The Milk” would work out fine.

Hey, I know what you are thinking: These are famous people and I am not.

Precisely!

Who the heck is Bob Marrone, and what makes him think one night soon he won’t hit that wall, or fall over dead from a stroke? Bob Marrone is a man in love—indeed, a fool in love—with what he does. 

That wall is getting closer and I am not getting any smarter. As for the odds, everyday I beat them increases my chances for a very bad outcome. 

Somehow, some way, I have to find a way to continue doing what I love and stay alive while doing it.  

It is time to make some changes.

Carl Hearn July 08, 2011 at 06:11 PM
It's not just the odd hours that affect sleep. I had a "normal" 9 to 5 job, but more than once I went into a twilight sleep while doing 1/2 mph on the FDR Drive, in which I thought that I was driving my desk! Fortunately, I never had an accident.
Michael Woyton July 08, 2011 at 06:24 PM
That does it. I'm never driving again. But it sounds like walking might not be safe either.
Bob Marrone July 11, 2011 at 01:49 PM
Wow..you all set em up....I 'll knock em down: Alisa, you first: thanks for writing. However, they have to get up at 3:30- four..before the proverbial crack of dawn. and if they put on Music of Your Life, they and I are sure to hit that wall. Next up, Rita: That is the nicest comment anyone has ever sent me about my radio life, thank you. and, yes, the fact that my health comes first is what drove the column. The other thing that inspired it is my attempt to capture that fear, and the thoughts that go with it, in one moment in time..thus the title. I can foresee my own demise if I do not change. Again, thank you for such kind words. Now for Carl: Wow! Yes. In this fast paced world I am sure it is so much more common than many think. the jobs, schedules and other responsibilities of modern life, and two couple working families are becoming unsustainable. We, I sometimes think, are on a mad rush to no where. Thank you for writing. last, but not least, my editor, Michael: the cost of metro cards went up! what will you do? LOL. Thanks, always, for your support.
Rachael Payne July 14, 2011 at 03:18 PM
Wow, Aunt Sandy is way too critical considering she is assuming that you are not attempting to correct the issue or that you don't consider the safety of others. Not to mention that if she were honest with herself, she would probably have to admit that nearly everyone, including herself, struggles with this problem to some extent. And what radio person can afford a cab to work?! (Other than the huge name guys). Kudos to you Marrone for working so hard at everything you do in life! We love you!
Suzanne January 15, 2013 at 06:13 AM
The dangers of sleep apnea are more than you even meantioned. I have finally convinced someone (who kept me up most nights). As I have trouble sleeping, I watched and timed the number and length of times he actually stopped breathing! People have actually died of this. The hours- excruciating! I di a morning show in college. Rolled down the hill at 5:30am and thought I'd die, being the nihgt owl that I am, and I was a kid, with more energy than now. It takes awhile, but the improvement is worth it. Don't worry about the mask--I don't! I'm just glad I don't have to watch the drawers go in and out and the shades go up and down anymore! Just kidding. Get a show in the afternoon, when I pick the kids up! Suzanne in the Red Dress!

Boards

More »
Got a question? Something on your mind? Talk to your community, directly.
Note Article
Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors.What's on your mind?What's on your mind?Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell somethingPost something
See more »