What stresses you out?
“Tests!”
"Homework”
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“Fear of losing a friendship”
“Not fitting in”
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Those were just some of the answers to this week’s theme question in our "Budding Buddhas" Yoga & Journaling class.
Each week we find that some girls relate to the class theme more than others. However, our theme on Stress resonated with all the girls. We were both taken aback when all 13 hands shot up and each girl had something to say when we asked “What Stresses You Out?”
It shouldn’t have surprised us. In today’s competitive world children of all ages are feeling the pressure to succeed. Whether it be in school, on the playing field or socially, children compare themselves to their peers and are very conscious of where they fit.
While some stress can be positive in that it can provide the necessary energy to reach a goal, too much stress can create unnecessary hardship and challenge in a child’s life. It is important as parents that we educate ourselves on this subject so we can identify when our children are feeling overwhelmed.
Here are some tips from the American Psychological Association on ways to recognize possible signs of stress:
Watch for negative behaviors in children: For children, stress can manifest itself through changes in behavior. Common changes can include acting irritable or moody, withdrawing from activities that used to give them pleasure, routinely expressing worries, complaining more than usual about school, crying, displaying surprising fearful reactions, clinging to a parent or teacher, sleeping too much or too little, or eating too much or too little.
Understanding that “feeling sick” may be caused by stress: Stress can also appear in physical symptoms such as stomachaches and headaches. If a child makes excessive trips to the school nurse or complains of frequent stomachaches or headaches (when they have been given a clean bill of health by their physician), or if these complaints increase in certain situations (e.g., before a big test) that child may be experiencing significant stress.
Be aware of how your child interacts with others: Sometimes a child may seem like his or her usual self at home but be acting out in unusual ways in other settings. It is important for parents to network with one another so that they can come to know how child is doing in the world around them. In addition to communicating with other parents, being in contact with teachers, school administrators and leaders of extracurricular activities can help parents tap into their child’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors, and be aware of any sources of concern.
Listen and translate: Because children are often not familiar with the word stress and its meaning, they may express feelings of distress through other words such as “worried,” “confused,” “annoyed” and “angry.” Children may also express feelings of stress by saying negative things about themselves, others, or the world around them (e.g. “No one likes me,” “I’m stupid,” “Nothing is fun.”). It is important for parents to listen for these words and statements and try to figure out why your child is saying them and whether they seem to indicate a source or sources of stress.
Seek support: Parents and children do not need to tackle overwhelming stress on their own. If a parent is concerned that his or her child or teen is experiencing significant symptoms of stress on a regular basis, including, but not limited to those described above, it can be helpful to work with a licensed mental health professional, such as a psychologist. Psychologists have special training to help people identify problems and develop effective strategies to resolve overwhelming feelings of stress.
It is our hope that through programs such as our Girls Yoga & Journaling class, children will find safe havens where they can talk freely about what’s on their minds. After all, as adults we are well aware that having the opportunity to talk things through and have someone listen usually makes things a whole lot better.
Budding Buddhas (™) is a Children's Yoga Business
Michelle Valentine & Susan Fried, Co-Owners
