Perspective

Now that I am a blogger for this publication, I am no longer restricted to political or current events.  In fact, given the new parameters of how blogs are posted, and the fact that I receive no compensation, I am pretty much my own editor.  Creatively, this is a good thing.  On the other hand, my accountant is not pleased.

Among the experiments I am trying is to become more personal with my readers, assuming you actual read my postings.  This is to say that …and I hope you notice…I have been including these little briefings on why I write what it is I blog about.  My sense is that I have always appreciated candor and one to one contact, rather than what always seemed to me to be aloofness on the part of columnists   My intent is to capture the old art of writing letters.  You know; me and you kind of stuff.

This week, I want to share with you my apologies for past comments on the radio and in the publications I write for, for making fun of call-in relationship shows, love poems, women’s magazines and, most of all, the singer Adele.

Someone should take me out to the wood post  and administer 50 lashes and all the while telling me what an insensitive jerk I was.  I deserve it.  This, of course, is metaphorical so don’t get any ideas.  Indeed, the point is that I am a sensitive soul, given to great bouts of timidity.

Let us begin: 

Thank you Adele, and I am sorry for my dumb remarks.  For whatever reason, during my previous many years on the planet, I had never had my heart broken, stepped on and left for the good people at the public works department to dispose of.  Now I know.  Sing well, and sing loudly enough for the world to hear the anguish of the scorned.  Write, arrange and shout out the sweet melancholy that is the broken heart.  There is a pain no greater, save maybe for the loss of a child, which Eric Clapton managed to capture in a rare moment of genius.  But love lost happens to all of us, or at least most of us.

If you have never had your heart broken, consider yourself lucky, even blessed.  If it happens, especially if it happens badly, like another lover in the picture, you will not sleep, you will not eat and you will not recover quickly.  You will blame yourself for changes in the mean temperature, and you will search for the weaknesses in your abandoning lover’s character to ease your pain…in vain.  And if, deep down, you know it is your fault, you will experience an extra dose of misery.  And if it is not, you will feel betrayed.  God help you if that is the case.  Food, sleep and peace will seem like insurmountable mountains.  In most relationships, however, there is usually enough blame on both sides.

You may find yourself listening to those Doctor Laura type shows seeking insight into what went wrong.  We men, most of anyway, won’t admit it, but we will listen in the car hoping to hear something that will ease our pain.  I used to make fun of her; not anymore.  You may find yourself trolling relationship websites in an effort to figure out what went wrong.   If you are a man, you will never admit to it, but you and I know that you listen and you troll the web for any information in the hope that it will ease your angst.  Again, we never would reveal that we do this.  We are men, we brush it off and drink with our buddies.  Well that does not work either.  

Lose the love of your life and you  are in for a rough ride from which there is no escape. You have to ride it out like a nightmare that won't end.   And so, once again, we go back to Adele and all the singers who I made fun of for crowing about love and broken hearts.  Now, their songs resonate and their pain is our pain.  We now know that what we are going through is universal; even though we think we are the only ones who can ever feel this bad.   Now we know why Shakespeare wrote love sonnets and why all the great writers did some of their best work after having their souls crushed by unrequited love.

I have joined their ranks. Again, my apologies, Adele, for my dumb rants, which went something like this:  Boo, hoo, hoo my lover left me, what am I gonna do, I can’t go on?”  I did this dripping with sarcasm. 

Well you know what, boo, hoo,hoo my lover left me; I am gonna listen to one of your songs.